Christmas Greetings and Fireside Fun

[Iolanthe]

Christmas Greetings and Fireside Fun




An Unexpected Party
©The Brothers Hildebrandt


'Tis the season to be jolly.....

We thought we'd have a bit of fun to get us into the festive spirit so we've created a thread where we can exchange greetings, mull over all thoughts Tolkien and Christmassy and even get a bit creative!

Pull up a deep comfy chair by our nice warm fire (at least as big as the one in the Hall of Fire at Rivendell) and put your feet up. Like Bilbo we want a verse (or two) to help us on our way, but unlike Bilbo's magnificent Eärendil was a Mariner we're asking for a limerick or short comic verse about any Tolkien character or subject you choose - the funnier the better. This isn't a competition. It isn't even art, it's a bit of daft holiday fun interspersed, we hope, with some lively Festive chat as we go along.


I'll kick it off:

There was a young Farmer from Ham
Who said "I'm in a right jam.
They think I'm a knight
With a dragon to fight
But I'm really a terrible sham."


And another...

Turin was very dour
He'd glour though every hour
But he'd only himself to blame:
He could never remember his name.


I'm sure all of you out there can do much better !!! Let 'the words take shape' and 'the firelit hall' become 'like a golden mist above the seas of foam that sighed upon the margins of the world'. Let's all settle down for a Tolkien Christmas !

[Iolanthe]

I'm going to repost 'Christmas with the Balrog' (mentioned on the Poll thread) because I've been working on it and there are several new verses. I had an idea it would be fun to recite it at the next Oxonmoot Party but it's a mad idea and I probably won't . Anyway - here is the new revised version, working in those pesky Balrog wings and an old enemy:


Christmas with the Balrog (reivsed )

In Moria I’d like to be
When winter snows start falling
But not with Trolls or Orcish hoards,
That would be quite appalling.

No! I’d be deep, deep down below,
Snug and warm and toasting,
Sitting with my Balrog friend
His chestnuts ever roasting

On an open fire. That would be grand.
The heat would be really handy,
We’d stuff ourselves with hot mince pies
And pud with flaming brandy.

We’d chat about the Good Old Days
When Morgoth would come for tea,
While I bask in Balrog’s cosy home,
My toes upon his knee

Warming nicely. And then we’d sing,
stood around his baby grand,
the lay of Fëanor and the day he
He charged the Gates of Angband

Without an invitation. That was rude
And Gothmog wouldn’t budge
But that was very long ago
And no Balrogs hold a grudge.

As bed time comes he’ll take his wings
(Which he only wears for best)
And hang them up beside the fire
Before we go to rest.

It’s Christmas like I’ve always dreamed
With roaring fires glowing,
Away from bitter frosts and snows
And freezing North Wind’s blowing.

So it’s good to know a Balrog
Who’s heart is warm and glowing
And who’s hearth is always 2000 degrees
Even when it’s snowing.

Iolanthe

[marbretherese]

You're setting us a high standard to follow, Iolanthe! I like the revised version. Will try and think of some limericks.

[Philipa]

Just a haiku I wrote while waiting for the dinner to cook.

Snow falls in Lindon,
upon the Misty Mountains
Lórien sees it not.

[Iolanthe]

I like it a lot, Philipa. I love the flow of sounds through it, it's a really nice one . I've never mastered the Haiku.

[marbretherese]

Just a haiku I wrote while waiting for the dinner to cook.

Well, I wish I could be as productive as that when cooking! I like your verse; not that I'm entirely sure what a haiku is - I'm currently reading about poetic forms in Stephen Fry's excellent (if punningly-titled) The Ode Less Travelled. We haven't got to the haiku yet, although I did try a villanelle the other day

Here's a limerick to be going on with.

When Pippin came home to the Shire
He & Merry had new clothes to hire;
Oh, how they both laughed
For they'd drunk the Ent-draught
And now they were quite a lot higher!

[Philipa]

Love the limerick marbretherese.

[Iolanthe]

I knew you'd come up with something good with Merry and Pippin, mabreterese .

[Iolanthe]

Here's a couple of limericks for Smeagol and his alter ego Gollum. Gollum caused a lot of head scratching!


There was a young Hobbit called Smeagol
Who stole a gold Ring that looked regal
He said, 'It's a present.
It's shine is so pleasant
And I'm not doing a thing that's illegal.'


There was poor creature called Gollum
Who wrote to an agony column
'No one's my friend
And my life's a dead end...
It's no wonder I always look solomn.'

[Merry]

[marbretherese]

Hear, hear!!

[Lindariel]

Just splendid Iolanthe! Perfectly in character, good rhyme scheme, proper rhythm and beat -- and funny! Marvelous!

[marbretherese]

This isn't short, or particularly Christmassy and it isn't that funny. Apart from that it fits the criteria perfectly . . . .

This was found scrawled on a piece of paper which fell out of an ancient copy of the Red Book of Westmarch.
Like many such ballads it's not entirely accurate,
being a popular version of an old, old tale:

The Ballad of Sam Gamgee

It’s Christmas Eve: we’ve feasted well
And carolled merrily;
Now gather round and I will tell
The tale of Sam Gamgee.

Young Sam, a gardener, overheard
His master plan to flee
The Shire: “I’ll join you! Say the word!”
Declared stout Sam Gamgee.

Two more made up their little band;
They roamed adventurously
Beset by danger in strange lands
Unknown to Sam Gamgee.

At length they came to Rivendell
And tarried pleasantly:
“Elves and wizards! Dwarves as well!”
Said happy Sam Gamgee.

A Fellowship they formed at last,
A valiant Company
In Mordor’s fires the Ring to cast
(Including Sam Gamgee).

Two Men, one Wizard, Dwarf and Elf,
Four Hobbits, one Po-nee?
He kept having to pinch himself,
Excited Sam Gamgee!

In Moria, when Gandalf fell,
Sam wept despondently.
Then under charmed Lothlorien’s spell
Came heartsore Sam Gamgee.

At Amon Hen Frodo took flight:
“Now, Master, wait for me,
I mustn’t let you out of sight!”
Cried desperate Sam Gamgee.

To Mordor then with Gollum’s aid
They went. Great bravery
In Shelob’s lair our Sam displayed –
That’s just like Sam Gamgee!

And for a while Sam kept the Ring
For Frodo; faithfully
Ignored its call; the evil thing
Could not touch Sam Gamgee!

Then, as they neared their journey’s end,
His master valiantly
Sam carried, like a true, true friend;
Devoted Sam Gamgee!

They stood beside the Cracks of Doom,
The Ring shone vividly;
Despite the heat a sense of gloom
Crept over Sam Gamgee.

“I’ll keep the Ring!” his master cried
But Gollum viciously
Bit him and took it o’er the side
In front of Sam Gamgee.

Beside his master Samwise lay
In Orodruin’s lee.
The Ring was gone – no more to say
But “Thank you, Sam Gamgee.”

Home in the Shire they feasted well
(They made Sam Mayor, you see)
And to this day the hobbits tell
The tale of Sam Gamgee.

[Merry]

Oh, this is marvelous, marbretherese! It's a great structure for Sam's story. Well done indeed!

[Lindariel]

Fabulous! I can just hear the oldtimers singing this to groups of hobbit children under the mallorn in the Party Field.