Members' Art, Prose and Poetry

[marbretherese]

Things have gone a little quiet on this thread so I've dusted off a poem I wrote a year ago and which I've been meaning to get round to tidying it up a little. I was reading a book on poetry construction at the time, so this is my first attempt at a sestina.


Lothlórien

Above Cerin Amroth the skies are clear
And blue. There’s magic in the air:
The golden mallorns circled by a ring
Of smaller white trees which do not bear leaves.
The traveller welcomed deep inside will fall
Under Lothlórien’s sweet and haunting spell.

This traveller, if he lingers for a spell,
Will recognise one thing is crystal clear:
Lothlórien is waiting for its fall;
Observe its gentle, melancholy air.
The elves of Lórien, as the traveller leaves,
Make silver music with a soft, sad ring.

Lothlórien’s greatest foe once forged a Ring
In a dark land so feared, that most would spell
Rather than speak the word; and few books’ leaves
Bore his cursed name. The elves then vowed to clear
Middle Earth of violence, slavery and despair -
Whatever might along the way befall.

And so Lothlórien’s enemy will fall;
The Age of Man begin, and Sauron’s Ring
Vanish like its wearers into thin air.
For Lórien’s Lady these events will spell
The end - farewell to Middle Earth! as clear
She hears the call: “Make haste! Soon the boat leaves!”

The gentle breeze rustles the golden leaves.
Soon on Lothlórien swirling they will fall
Like tears the elves are shedding as they clear
Cerin Amroth’s outer bordering ring
Of white trees. The Grey Havens cast their spell
In turn, calling Galadriel to the western air.

Departure is a bitter-sweet affair;
Although each of Galadriel’s race believes
A fairer place awaits, who can dispel
Fond memories of Lórien? They fall
To dreaming of the past. Ahead, a ring
Of light precedes the ship. Its way is clear.

The air above Lothlórien stirs; a fall
Of leaves on Cerin Amroth forms a ring.
The spell is broken and the skies are clear.

[Merry]

You are as talented with words as with watercolors, marbretherese! I will need to read this a few more times. But I love how there are still rings everywhere.

[marbretherese]

Thanks Merry! I've just edited it slightly to make it more accurate. But hopefully I haven't lost the essence . . . !!

[Iolanthe]

That's amazing - the way the endings repeat! I've never come across a sestina before. The rhyme seems to weave a spell as you read it, like never ending circles of words. How appropriate for Lothlorien (and Tolkien) . It's really great to have another poem on this thread too.

Quite frankly that's so good you should send it to Andrew at Amon Hen and raise the formal poetry bar a bit!

[marbretherese]

Thanks, Iolanthe!! I'd never heard of a sestina either, but I found the effect of the same end-of-line words repeating in a different order throughout almost hypnotic, and it did seem to suit Lothlórien. The order of those words is set, too, and oddly enough I found it easier to write something restricted in that way - I don't like too much choice!! Maybe I will send it in to Amon Hen and see if Andrew publishes it!

[Iolanthe]

Go for it!

I didn't realise the ending order is also set. I think it's incredible you've produced something so beautiful from those restrictions. Hypnotic is a good word. You should add an explanation of what a sestina is along with the actual poem when you send it.

[marbretherese]

You should add an explanation of what a sestina is along with the actual poem when you send it.

Guess what, I sent it to Amon Hen already (before I had a chance to talk myself into not sending it) so I don't suppose Andrew will even know it's a sestina. He's passed it on to the AH poetry expert, however, who may well do so!!

I've found a good explanation on the net of how a sestina works (for anyone who's interested) here:
http://www.vam.ac.uk/activ_events/adult ... index.html

It was great fun to write (as far as I can remember) and the final bit (the envoi) was fairly easy once I had decided on the words I was going to use. I often write the beginning and the end of a poem before the middle and sometimes I start with the middle and work outwards . . .

[Riv Res]

Simply wonderful marbretherese! I especially like...

• The gentle breeze rustles the golden leaves.
  Soon on Lothlórien swirling they will fall
  Like tears the elves are shedding as they clear
  Cerin Amroth’s outer bordering ring
  Of white trees. The Grey Havens cast their spell
  In turn, calling Galadriel to the western air.

It captures the magic.

[Iolanthe]

My favourite verse too - it really is beautiful. I'll be amazed if Amon Hen's poetry expert doesn't go for it.

I've saved it so I can find it easily if I want to read it again .

[Elegaer]

omg I kept looking and looking at this forum and for over a month something decided to tell me that there were no new messages. Strange, I thought, but ok. And then! Then! Suddenly last week, I looked again and suddenly it showed me so many posts I'd missed! *cry*!!!

I didn't vanish on purpose.

Wah.

[Iolanthe]

It's great to have to back . Computers, eh? don't you hate 'em?

Now you're back, how about something for the Yule Essay Contest ? .

[Iolanthe]

Finally - here's my promised painting of Gandalf:


Gandalf the White




The words at the bottom are:

A gleam of sun through fleeting clouds fell on his hands...

I thought it would be a beautiful image to try to depict. It comes after he's returned to Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli in Fangorn and is pondering what the Ents might do:

'I do not think they know themselves. I wonder.' He fell silent, his head bowed in thought.

The others looked at him. A gleam of sun through fleeting clouds fell on his hands, which lay now upturned on his lap: they seemed to be filled with light as a cup is with water. At last he looked up and gazed straight at the sun.

[Merry]

Very nice, Iolanthe! This matches another one of your illustrations--Old Man Willow, right? It's a pleasing style and I always like the kind of frame you use. And I like the focus on a passage that has not received a lot of attention. It's seems to be suggestive of something important, but what is it that Tolkien is trying to tell us?

[Riv Res]

Your best yet Iolanthe. These only get better and better.

[Iolanthe]

Glad you like it ! I think Tolkien is trying to tell us that Gandalf's return is blessed and will also be a blessing. There is something quite mystical about the light filling his hands. It's a very reassuring image, both to us and to Gandalf who receives it.