Members' Art, Prose and Poetry

marbretherese · Post by **marbretherese** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:42 am

I like the addition of a frame to this picture, Riv, especially the variation in the red behind the leaf motif - very nice!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 3:48 pm

I love it! A wonderful palette and great flora, as usual.

Lindariel · Post by **Lindariel** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:01 pm

This is beautiful, Riv! So homey, like a lovely little vacation retreat.

Elegaer · Post by **Elegaer** » Thu Jan 01, 2009 6:04 pm

Riv Res wrote:I think this is the final on this one...framed.

Starting to work on a new idea.

That's gorgeous Riv! I love the border, and the bee hive and the little pear. And the chicken! I'd never thought of chickens in Hobbiton but now it seems perfectly normal!

Iolanthe · Post by **Iolanthe** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:19 pm

That frame sets it off perfectly

. It's a lovely picture and the frame pulls it together with the others you've done. You do have such a good sense of colour, Riv. I really think this is my favourite garden one.

Riv Res · Post by **Riv Res** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:44 pm

Obviously this one is called Buckleberry Landing.

Iolanthe · Post by **Iolanthe** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:00 pm

That's lovely Riv

! It's a perfect companion to the other piece and I see you have a leafy border again with willow leaves this time. It works very well as a way to frame them and tie them all together - with just that little bit of the 'stained glass' look to pull them in with the previous set of poem illustrations.

Cool

.

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:53 pm

What a nice surprise! Great trees, and I love the little sign. Of course, I started looking for Black Riders right away!

Riv Res · Post by **Riv Res** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:55 pm

Lovely summer day. Pre-Black Riders.

marbretherese · Post by **marbretherese** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:56 pm

It's great Riv, I particularly like the willow in the background and the sign at the front. Very tranquil and Shire-like!

Philipa · Post by **Philipa** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:27 pm

Hey that's very nicely done Riv. Love you're tackling the lesser scenes in LoTR.

Lindariel · Post by **Lindariel** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:05 pm

Don't you just want to sit on the end of the dock, paddle your feet in the water, and drink lemonade? This is wonderful, Riv, both very hobbity as well as almost Tom Sawyer-esque!

marbretherese · Post by **marbretherese** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 2:20 pm

I've been discussing my Lothlórien sestina with Andrew at Amon Hen. He put me in touch with his poetry expert, who was extremely complimentary, but pointed out a few places where he thought I could improve it (quite exciting, rather like having a college tutorial!!).

As a result I've had a bit of a think, and rewritten parts of verses 1, 3 & 4 - I'm still waiting to hear whether the poem will make it into the March issue or whether it will have to wait. Here is the revised version.

Lothlórien – a sestina

Above Cerin Amroth the skies are clear
And blue. There’s a mysterious air:
The golden mallorns circled by a ring
Of smaller white trees which do not bear leaves.
The traveller welcomed deep inside will fall
Under Lothlórien’s sweet and haunting spell.

This traveller, if he lingers for a spell,
Will recognise one thing is crystal clear:
Lothlórien is waiting for its fall;
Observe its gentle, melancholy air.
The elves of Lórien, as the traveller leaves,
Make silver music with a soft, sad ring.

Lothlórien’s greatest foe once forged a Ring
In a dark land so feared, would any spell -
Would any speak - the word? or lore-books’ leaves
Bear his cursed name? The elves then vowed to clear
Middle Earth of violence, slavery and despair -
Whatever might along the way befall.

And so Lothlórien’s enemy will fall;
The Age of Man begin, and Sauron’s Ring
Melt into Mountain‘s core beyond repair.
For Lórien’s Lady these events will spell
The end - farewell to Middle Earth! as clear
She hears the call: “Make haste! Soon the boat leaves!”

The gentle breeze rustles the golden leaves.
Soon on Lothlórien swirling they will fall
Like tears the elves are shedding as they clear
Cerin Amroth’s outer bordering ring
Of white trees. The Grey Havens cast their spell
In turn, calling Galadriel to the western air.

Departure is a bitter-sweet affair;
Although each of Galadriel’s race believes
A fairer place awaits, who can dispel
Fond memories of Lórien? They fall
To dreaming of the past. Ahead, a ring
Of light precedes the ship. Its way is clear.

The air above Lothlórien stirs; a fall
Of leaves on Cerin Amroth forms a ring.
The spell is broken and the skies are clear.

Iolanthe · Post by **Iolanthe** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:13 pm

It's shaped up really well. Can't wait to see it in print. Plus it will introduce a lot of people to the Sestina who've probably never come across one before!

Philipa · Post by **Philipa** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:07 pm

That's terrific you had some constructive criticism with this poem. The changes are subtle but they work well. Let us know what happens with this please.