marbretherese wrote:
This isn't short, or particularly Christmassy and it isn't that funny. Apart from that it fits the criteria perfectly . . . .
This was found scrawled on a piece of paper which fell out of an ancient copy of the Red Book of Westmarch.
Like many such ballads it's not entirely accurate,
being a popular version of an old, old tale:
The Ballad of Sam Gamgee
It’s Christmas Eve: we’ve feasted well
And carolled merrily;
Now gather round and I will tell
The tale of Sam Gamgee.
Young Sam, a gardener, overheard
His master plan to flee
The Shire: “I’ll join you! Say the word!”
Declared stout Sam Gamgee.
Two more made up their little band;
They roamed adventurously
Beset by danger in strange lands
Unknown to Sam Gamgee.
At length they came to Rivendell
And tarried pleasantly:
“Elves and wizards! Dwarves as well!”
Said happy Sam Gamgee.
A Fellowship they formed at last,
A valiant Company
In Mordor’s fires the Ring to cast
(Including Sam Gamgee).
Two Men, one Wizard, Dwarf and Elf,
Four Hobbits, one Po-nee?
He kept having to pinch himself,
Excited Sam Gamgee!
In Moria, when Gandalf fell,
Sam wept despondently.
Then under charmed Lothlorien’s spell
Came heartsore Sam Gamgee.
At Amon Hen Frodo took flight:
“Now, Master, wait for me,
I mustn’t let you out of sight!”
Cried desperate Sam Gamgee.
To Mordor then with Gollum’s aid
They went. Great bravery
In Shelob’s lair our Sam displayed –
That’s just like Sam Gamgee!
And for a while Sam kept the Ring
For Frodo; faithfully
Ignored its call; the evil thing
Could not touch Sam Gamgee!
Then, as they neared their journey’s end,
His master valiantly
Sam carried, like a true, true friend;
Devoted Sam Gamgee!
They stood beside the Cracks of Doom,
The Ring shone vividly;
Despite the heat a sense of gloom
Crept over Sam Gamgee.
“I’ll keep the Ring!” his master cried
But Gollum viciously
Bit him and took it o’er the side
In front of Sam Gamgee.
Beside his master Samwise lay
In Orodruin’s lee.
The Ring was gone – no more to say
But “Thank you, Sam Gamgee.”
Home in the Shire they feasted well
(They made Sam Mayor, you see)
And to this day the hobbits tell
The tale of Sam Gamgee.